The importance of being compassionate towards yourself

I was scrolling the other day through Instagram and came across a post by Eckhart Tolle, which said « Be compassionate with yourself ».  I shared it, wrote a small caption with it. But what does that mean, being compassionate with yourself? What does being compassionate even mean?

Defining as a compassionate being

Generally speaking, people who are compassionate are concerned about the feelings and state of being of others. They show compassion, meaning they feel sympathy for the other person. Thus, they are more enticed to help the other person if they need it.

women with kind words

How about yourself?

I never used to feel sympathy towards myself, my feelings. And I still struggle a lot with this today, because it doesn’t come naturally to me. I tend to more tell myself to not think this, or not feel that. I usually criticize myself for thinking or feeling a certain way. Does that sound familiar to you?
The problem is that I have never really learned to say that I feel sad, or that I feel angry, or that I don’t agree with something (and whenever I did say it either didn’t come out right or I was aggressed for speaking my mind) I never really learned to acknowledge feelings and emotions. So whenever something is up, I tend to tell myself it is not normal to think that or feel that way. This in return creates resistance and negative energy…If you fight something, it only stays and it will only grow stronger and more persistent.

i love me

Instead of judging yourself for the feelings you have, instead of making yourself small because of your emotion, show yourself compassion. Accept yourself as the wonderful being that you are. Learn to recognize any patterns of emotions or ways of thinking that you have and try to understand yourself. If you do, you can be compassionate towards yourself and kind.

This sounds easy, but it is not. I struggle with this every day. If you feel that you are slipping into a depressive episode or that unexplainable sadness is dwelling up inside you or you notice a fit of anger building up – it is ok. It is ok to feel the way that you are feeling. Tell yourself this and take it from there.



Pleasure vs Happiness

Pleasure and happiness are two different things – let’s explore why.

Pleasure defines as ‘A feeling of happy satisfaction and enjoyment’ and ‘Enjoyment and entertainment, as opposed to necessity’. 

Happiness defines as ‘The state of being happy’. 

What is pleasure? What is happiness?

I would say that pleasure if something fleeting, something that is momentarily, something that can go by as easily as it appeared. It is something rather hedonistic, geared essentially towards oneself and the fulfilment of one’s own ideas so as to maximise the enjoyment. And since we can get so easily used to something that gives us gratification, we naturally strive for more of it. 

Happiness on the other hand is a state, something longterm, something lasting. It is not something that you constantly pursue (pleasure is , though) but it is something that you learn, that you come into. It is a state of mind. 

But can pleasure bring happiness? I think so – I think it depends on your mindset. You could for example take a walk in the park, see some beautiful flowers. Do you think ‘these flowers are nice, they would look great at home’ or do you think ‘wow what beautiful flowers’? Enjoy the moment and the things not for your own pleasure but simply because of the beauty of it. 

happy womean in sunset

Last year I did two 30 day challenges – the 1st one was to post every day on Instagram a story with one thing that brought me pleasure or happiness and the second one was to find out what made people happy. I will write more in detail about the second challenge later on.

For now, lets focus on the first one. You have read my last post about the 30 small thing to brighten up your day. I tried to find each day some small thing that I enjoyed just for the beauty or the moment of it of when I was in a state of feeling at ease and peace with myself. When was the last time you did something because your wanted you too? When was the last time you enjoyed something simply because? 

Thank you for reading.



Why Hypnotherapy might be worth exploring

I’m pretty sure you are thinking right now – wtf?! Hypnotherapy? As is hypnosis? As in “in a movie magician dude is onstage snaps finger and person falls asleep voodoo”? Nope, that’s definitely not the case here. And I’m going to tell you why. I consulted with an hypnotherapist for a few months and I really had some breakthroughs with it.

Hypnotherapy has nothing to do with what you can see in movies. It is not about falling asleep in a second, doing things that you can’t remember or being out of control in any other way. Hypnotherapy is a therapy – it is an alternative treatment for stress, phobia, breaking through negative patterns and anxiety for example. You are more of in a very deep focused state, as in a deep meditation. The therapist makes suggestions to you to reach your subconscious mind (that powerful little sneaky peaky that remembers everything, takes everything at face value and runs your life). But as with all forms of therapy, you also need to want to change and let your subconscious be receptive for the suggestions.

human in meditative position
Acessing the subcponscious mind.

What happens in a session?

You are in a calm environment. My therapist did talk to me in the beginning, about how I was feeling lately, what was good and what not so much. We then decided together on what we would be working on. I initially went to see her for my depressive episodes but we ended up working on much more that that, like obsessive thinking patterns, low self esteem, low self confidence and a lot of release work this concerning.

After we decided what we would be doing, I took a comfortable position in a chair, closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths. My therapist would then start talking to me, making me relax even more as to be able to enter into this deep focused state. I would tsart by concentrating on my breathing and naturally slip off. She would then make suggestions on where I was, what I was doing. Release work included for example standing on a cliff with pebbles in my hand. I would imagine that each pebble was something that I no longer wanted in my life. Then throwing the pebbles away, over the cliff, into the sea, to be washed away and never to be seen again. When coming towards the end of a session, my therapist would then make me – mentally, that is – walk up some stairs. After having left the focused state, we would then do a quick debrief.

path leading into water
A long way into the unknown.

I always left her sessions feeling utterly relaxed, at ease and at peace with myself. Note that it is not some kind of magic where after one session, you can change completely and 100%. It takes time and effort, especially from your side. But if you are willing to change and invest and break through your negative patterns, than it is absolutely worth it.

If you have feedback and questions, I would love to hear it.

Thank you for reading.



My definition of happiness – what is yours?

Dear Friend, I could have started this post with a headline like “The ultimate definition of happiness” or something similar. The fact is however, there is not one definition of happiness because there are loads of them. Probably as many definitions as there are human beings on this earth. We are all different, we have different life stories, different philosophies, different ways of thinking. So it is only natural that one person doesn’t have the same view on something as the person next to them.

First, lets have a quick look on the etymology of happiness. In English, it is related to the late 14th century word “HAP” meaning “chance, fortune”. The German word “Glück” means happiness and chance/fortune/luck at the same time. And in French, the word “ BONHEUR” comes from “ BON” (good) and heur , which is derivates from the latin word “AUGURIUM” meaning fortune. Is does actually mean luck and fortune in a lot of languages as well. Interesting, isn’t it?

The Oxford dictionary defines happiness as “the state of being happy” and the definition for happiness in return is “feeling or showing pleasure or contentment”. Other definitions include “emotions experienced when in a state of well being”.

To me, happiness has more than one component:

  • Happiness comes with being at ease with one self

Oh boy. That’s a big one. For me, being at ease with one’s self is probably one of the hardest things to do. There is always something that I don’t like or that I want to change. I would (and still can) be so obsessed with thinking about this one thing that it drains so much energy from me, makes me so tired and irritable . Sometimes also, outer influences make it so very hard to simply accept us as the beautiful beings that we are. So being at ease with yourself is hard but it can be learned. It is an ongoing process, something that you can work on.

  • Happiness comes from acceptance – you cannot change other people

Yup. That’s what I think. You cannot change another person. I used to have usually high expectations of people ( ok I admit, I still sometimes do and maybe that’s a bit naive in a certain way) and would be or get angry when people wouldnt be as I expected them or imagined them. One good (and yeah, naive) example is that I automatically assume that people are friendly, good-willing. And then it sooner or later turns out, for some, that they are not. And then I would be sad, angry, disappointed. I would wreck my mind about what is wrong with me (why could I be so completely off track) or what’s wrong with people. At some point it hit me – people are the way they are. And it is up to them to change. If they want to.

  • Happiness comes from concentrating on yourself and not worrying about other people’s opinions

This one is a bit related to the first one. Speaking of outer influences that can impact the perception you have of yourself, in a negative way. I learned one thing now – people will always (like literally, ALWAYS) find something negative to say. No matter what you do, no matter how hard you try. People are jealous, people want to cherry pick. So it is your job to find the people who actually matter. Those whom you trust, who are valuable to you. Their opinions matter.

I hope I gave you a little insight into my definition of happiness. What’s yours? Share in the comments below or send me feedback!

Thank you for reading.


You are not alone

Dear friend,

Do you think, sometimes, or often, that you will never be happy? 

In my last post, I have already been introducing me and the reasons for this blog. I dont want to tell you that you that it is easy and that there is one medicine for it all. Most of all, I just want to tell you that you are not alone.

I thought for a long time that I was the only person who felt that way. Because when I looked around, everyone else seemed to be doing fine. But that’s only the surface. Scratch it and you see the shininess comes down quite quickly. Dig a little deeper and you get to see a whole different story. 

I used to think that I am the only one who can not be truly happy and who feels like jumping from one emotion to the other – one second totally happy and the other totally sad. Or waking up in the morning, knowing immediately it’s not gonna work out today. 

teaddy bear on a wall looking sad

Does that sound familiar to you? One thing I have learned that far though is that no, I am not alone. You are not alone. It is ok to feel like you feel, it is ok to feel sad and have depressive episodes, sometimes for days on end. Don’t let anyone tell you “don’t be so weak” or “come on, you will be ok” . Acknowledge. Feel. 

There are ways, methods, things to do to make this situation more bearable.To get on the path of healing. To get on the quest to happiness, because – and there is another thin g that I have learned – happiness often also resides in the little things. And it often depends on our point of view. We are responsible for ourselves, not the outside world. 

We can change the way we view life. 

We can choose to be happy.



The Journey Begins

Dear Friend,

Thank you for finding my blog and reading my post.

The main theme of this blog is happiness – with all the might that this word holds. It is not going to be just another website where I will post happy pictures and tell everyone life if always sunny and shiny.

Because guess what? It’s not. And that’s reality. And that’s normal. And that’s ok. I just feel that we get way to often blinded by an un-reality, that can put a lot of pressure on us. We get influenced so much by the outside world that sometimes, we end up asking ourselves if hapiness exists at all for us.

So I will be exploring the topic of happiness – definitions, influences, struggles, depressive episodes, tools, changes over time and much more in this blog.

Stay put.
I choose to be happy.

Sincerely yours,


trainstation in the sunset, the beginning of a journey.
All aboard. The journey begins.